Cannot sleep

I woke up at 4am with a horrible stomach ache and burning in my throat. My throat has been scratchy the last few mornings, but usually gets better! I am hoping that after I write this post I can curl back up in bed and sleep for a few hours...if not, it might be the LONGEST Monday of my life.

Since I cannot sleep I figured I would come check out some fitness blogs and distract my mind from how I am feeling. After reading a few blogs I started thinking about the title of my own...Future Competitor: From Binging to Bikini...although it is an accurate title I decided to change it. Why look back at the girl I used to be when I can set goals for the girl I am striving to be? At work we have goal setting sessions and we are taught that the proper way to write goals is in the present tense as if they have already been accomplished. This explains the new title "I am a figure competitor by December 2011." I know I have been saying that I feel as if I am already a competitor, but I do have my moments where I think that I will not see the results in time....it is extremely hard to trust the process! However, if I keep repeating to myself "I am a figure competitor. I am a figure competitor. I am a figure competitor." it will be stuck in my brain and every decision will be based off that identity...or at least that is what I am hoping for.

I have a CRAZY week ahead of me. I have 4 more days left in my 8 day work stretch at my job! In addition to that I have 2 boot camp sessions I am scheduled to instruct, packing for a the bachelorette trip, errands to run before the trip, cooking and prepping more food, AND my workouts for this week. Thinking about my week I was looking forward to Napa thinking I would have some time to just relax with the girls, but we got our itinerary for the trip and it looks like it is nonstop wine tours! There is a little time for the pool, but I am not sure I even want to pack my swimsuit...I do not feel great about my body yet, and the girls I am going with are skinny lil' things. Do I really want to subject myself to those negative feelings about myself? In addition, I'm not sure how I am going to fit in my workouts and all my meals! :( And then it is straight back into work on Monday. Can't a girl just workout and sleep in the sun?

On that note, I better try and get a few more hours of sleep, otherwise I will NEVER make it through my workout today let alone my closing shift at work....wish me luck. :(